Discipling Multicultural Children and Young People
Nathaniel Jennings
Many of the children and youth in an intercultural church will be Third Culture Kids (TCKs). TCKs are young people who have lived between and navigated worlds since a young age because of their parents’ choices. They are young people who are being raised in a culture different from their parents’. The ‘first culture’ refers to the culture of the country from which their parents came, the ‘second culture’ the culture in which their family resides, and the ‘third culture’ the in-between space they inhabit; having feet in different worlds and worldviews simultaneously. Whatever given country their parents are from or residing in TCKs share common experiences and perspectives, resulting in common challenges and blessings.
In Christian circles TCKs have been primarily recognised as children of Western missionaries growing up outside their parents’ home countries. However, the common experiences and perspectives of TCKs can be found in children of all families who have moved cultural contexts for a myriad of reasons. Children of cross-cultural/biracial marriages will share many similarities to TCKs too.
In today’s globalized world where people have been and continue to move around the global in numbers never witnessed before in history TCKs represent a significant proportion of today’s young people. It also means that churches which reflect the diverse demographics around them will have a large section of their children and youth as TCKs, hence understanding them and their needs should be of significant concern to such churches.
David C. Pollock and Ruth Van Reken pioneered the TCK profile with the publishing of their book, Growing Up Among Worlds in 1999. Their definition of what it means to be a TCK is widely referenced: "[A] person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents' culture. The TCK builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background."
TCKs have also been referred to as ‘cultural hybrids’, ‘cultural chameleons’ and ‘global nomads’. However, I like the idea of the ‘third space’ which TCKs occupy. A space which brings with it challenges, but also great possibilities and potential in the liminal and dynamic nature of this orientation of mind and being.
So, what are some of the blessings and challenges of being a TCK?
Challenges:
· When it comes to questions about their allegiance to a particular nation, culture or race TCKs often experience internal conflict. This is particularly so if they are pressed to show their loyalty to one part of their culture/identity over others.
· When a TCK has to move between different value systems they can also feel conflicted. For example, from an individualist to a collectivist culture, or shame/honour to guilt/innocence culture, or secular/sacred culture to a wholistic culture (3D Gospel, Jayson Georges).
· TCKs often feel an affinity with various cultures and places but not truly apart of any. TCKs often find the question ‘Where are you from?’ complicated and tiring to answer.
· In a monocultural setting where they perceive little interest or curiosity about other cultures TCKs can feel frustrated and unvalued. This can result in feelings of superiority or indifference towards the majority culture which can lead to behaviour causing further isolation.
· Due to ethnic background and complexion, it can be assumed that TCKs will be at home when being amongst their parents’ people or visiting their homelands, but they often find they do not fit due to lack of familiarity with their ‘home’ land and culture.
· In cultures where family members have strong obligations to each other and parents have made great sacrifices in moving countries to give their children better opportunities, these TCK children can feel an immense pressure to succeed in ways which will honour their parents’ expectations and sacrifices.
· The mixture of influences from the various cultures that the TCK has lived in can create challenges in developing a secure sense of identity and belonging in adult life.
· A life which has had much transition, with the loss and grief that comes with this, can lead to TCKs struggling to put their trust in others and God.
· Feeling different and misunderstood by others can lead to TCKs asking questions like ‘What is wrong with me?’ & ‘How can I be accepted and respected by others?’ This can lead to feelings of shame and attempts to either desperately try to ‘be like everyone else’ or exaggerate their differentness, which can lead to further alienation from others.
Blessings:
· Increased experience of moving between different cultures enables TCKs to be more aware of different societal norms and cues. This in turn generally produces a higher sensitivity to other cultures and ways of life. A TCK will often naturally begin by observing a new context, weighing up how to appropriately engage, ‘seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.’
· TCKs have an inbuilt understanding that there is more than one way to look at situations that they are exposed to. This can enable them to contribute positively to problem solving and building consensus amongst diverse groups of people.
· TCKs often have heighted cross-cultural competence/cultural intelligence; and have developed the ability to function effectively across national, ethnic, and organizational cultures.
· Many TCKs have levels of maturity ‘beyond their years’ in relation to their peers due to their experiences of uprooting and moving their lives and often being involved in taking up responsibilities for the wellbeing and care of their families in the new and foreign contexts they find themselves.
· TCKs in general have been found to be better able to adjustment and adapt to changes in the contexts of their lives.
· TCK’s experiences of inhabiting multiple cultures develops within them insightful and creative ways of perceiving people and contexts. There are many acclaimed TCK artists and writers who have been commended for the way in which they present ‘three dimensional’ insights in the things they portray and stories they tell.
A broken ‘TCKness’ can lead to a sense of perpetual identity crisis and cultural homelessness. This can affect a TCK’s self-esteem, cause feelings of alienation and lead to ongoing levels of stress and anxiety as they seek to figure this out. There may be a sense that they can partially adapt themselves to fit in anywhere but belong nowhere.
A redeemed ‘TCKness’ finds individuals with cultural curiosity and intelligence. Young people with deep empathy for others as they can see different group’s different perspectives and identify with their experiences. Young people with heightened levels of creativity for finding solutions and imagining and developing initiatives, drawing from insights from multiple worldviews. Individuals with a high level of tolerance, grace towards others and adaptability, able to get alongside all kinds of people and be bridge builders between them.
Of course, all this does not end at adulthood; the term Third Culture Adults (TCA) is also used. The focus of this piece is on TCKs, but of course the concern for understanding, supporting and encouraging TCKs is to see them become well-adjusted adults who will reach their potential and be influences for good in the world and for the kingdom.
Intercultural churches will naturally be places where many of the children and youth will be TCKs. Hence, the vital need for this concept to be understood by those in churches who seek to see them well cared for and thriving. I believe that intercultural churches that do this well will also be places of attraction for TCKs outside the church. A place where they might find a community that accepts and understands them, and contains others like them. Places where they can embrace both their cultural heritages and grow as confident and positive citizens of the land where God has them. Places where their variety of life experiences are celebrated and contribute to the enrichment of the church. This may not be their experience in society at large or even in more monocultural churches, whether that be a church made up largely of the majority ‘host’ culture or a particular national/cultural diaspora community.
I recently heard a prominent pastor from Hong Kong speak about the church he had established in a town in England. He said he could have easily started a Cantonese speaking Chinese church but that he wanted to be part of an intercultural church because he wanted it to be a church where his daughters and granddaughters, growing up in the UK, would feel at home.
If we disciple our TCKs well we will raise up a generation who will be well placed to be cross-cultural witnesses and nurturers of kingdom reflecting intercultural communities, right where God has them or wherever he may be leading them. The wanderlust and enjoyment of adventure and new things that is found in many TCKs may take many into the parts of these isles and this world where there still is little Christian witness and few others are willing to go.
Our understanding and support for TCKs will also involve serving the families they belong to. Often great angst comes and relationships are strained when well-meaning parents struggle to understand the different dimensions of their TCK children which they do not share. This is again where intercultural churches with their appreciation of the cultural heritage of their members not originally from the UK but also with members from the ‘native’ community, and rooted it is locality, can be great places of support for multicultural families.
So how do we disciple TCKs well? Firstly, we must remember each TCK is unique, with a unique story which we must encourage them share so we can best care for them and nurture the particular gifts and insights they have. Beyond this I think there are 3 particular areas in which we can seek to see them grow. These are areas in which we should actually be seeking to see every member of our church grow.
Firstly, in their identity in Christ. Finding their primary identity and self-worth in being in Christ will enable them to celebrate and yet hold in proper perspective their worldly identities and the ways in which these may seem to conflict within them. In fact, the diverse make up of their identities come to be accepted and appreciated as gifts from God to be used in his service.
Secondly, allegiance to the global church. When they see the global church, in its rich diversity and unity as the community to which they primarily belong they no longer need to strive to be seen as sufficiently loyal or belonging to one national, racial or cultural group or another. They can delight in being intercultural people, finding belonging in the intercultural kingdom of God.
Thirdly, finding their purpose in sharing Jesus with the world. Established in security in their identity in Christ and finding ‘their people’ as part of the global church, they then are wonderfully positioned to find purpose in and look forward to using all they embody as TCKs in the hands of God for advancing his coming kingdom. This is where they find ultimate meaning and purpose for their lives in a complex and ever-changing world.
The good news of Jesus, in its simplicity and profoundness, answers the heart cries of every individual and culture. For many TCKs there is a deep longing for identity, belonging and purpose. We see how the gospel and the church can satisfy all these.
When we look at the Word of God we find many examples of the way the Lord uses TCKs and the TCK experience in his unfolding plans.
In the Old Testament we have Moses who due to his deep acquaintance with Hebrew, Egyptian and Midian cultures was uniquely used by the God as his intermediary in the intercultural context he found himself in. We have Joseph who though a Hebrew immersed himself in and mastered the Egyptian world to be used by God for the blessing of that land and the protection of his people. Daniel in Babylon is a classic example of someone living between worlds, seeking the good of the city he lived in whilst not forgetting who he was.
Jesus himself was supremely secure in who he was and where came from but was willing to set it all aside and enter into our world where he was misunderstood and mistreated. However, Jesus took the posture of serving and seeking the blessing of those who did not appreciate who he was or what he stood for. He was able to do this because of his perfect understanding of who he was, his purpose on earth and whom he lived to please.
Then we come to the apostle Paul. Paul grew up in Tarsus where Roman, Jewish and other cultures co-existed. In Athens (Acts 17) we see how he a proud Jew, also a Roman citizen, had spent time in a very foreign context (Athens) listening, learning and even acquainting himself with the local pagan poets so that he can share the good news of Jesus with the people there in a way they would understand. In 1 Corinthians Chapter 9 Paul describes his attitude towards his own identity and the ones he is willing to embrace for the sake of the gospel. “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
I believe the redeemed and well discipled TCKs in our churches have a special capacity to do this and play a special role in embodying and proclaiming Christ’s coming kingdom in a time of deep division and tribalism. Let us strive to serve them in seeing and being all this, for their blessing and His glory.
As Miriam Adeney writes,
‘We all need roots. We cannot be citizens of everywhere. But we can connect to multiple places. People with such connections will be the bridge-builders of the future. What movement spans cultures, races, genders, rich and poor, illiterates and PhD holders? The church of Jesus Christ. Yet not all Christians are equally qualified to connect. In the globally networked world of the future, the leaders will not be the mono-cultural Christians. The natural bridge-builders will be the liminal, hyphenated, polycentric, multi-lingual Christians- the children who are on the move today.’
(A Hybrid World, Ed. S.J. Tira & J.L. Uytanlet)
